honest confessions/ramblings of a preacher.

It's May 22, and I'm sitting in Starbucks pondering the church I work at and serve Jesus in. For you that don't know, I work in a small church (around 100 average worship attendance). I know that shocks some of you, or maybe not, but to some extent I like that we're small. However I don't believe for one minute that we're going to stay that size, and I hope we don't.  

My heart is abnormally heavy for my East Nashville community this morning. Maybe it's because I actually believe there's a hell and people will die and go there; maybe it's because I'm selfish and wish I had a larger church; maybe it's because I feel that to not consistently have a heavy heart means that I'm not a "good" pastor or Christian; maybe it's because in my heart I really love people despite being hurt over and over by them; or maybe it's because I enjoy and long to see smiles and hear laughter.

As a pastor, the questions that I have to constantly ask myself are:  Do I trust Jesus enough to speak truth when it's not popular? Am I willing to sacrifice myself in the pulpit for causes I may not deem important, but Jesus does? Am I acting as a servant leader or an egotistical leader? If love wins, am I loving? Can I get over myself for the good of the church? How can I lovingly tell people to get over themselves for the good of the church? 

My prayer this morning: Jesus, please fill all the churches in my community with people not agendas. May the truth of your Gospel be spoken, so those people are filled with hopes and dreams, in a time when that's seemingly nonexistent. May we fall at Your feet and worship You in ways that don't make sense at the heartfelt knowledge that You alone will never leave us, nor forsake us, and that in the end You have the last word and are victorious. Great is Your love that's poured out for us; Servant King you've rescued us, and You've bought us at a price that no one or thing could outbid. Thank you for seeing us as someone worth Your life. May we seek to serve You and make You famous, because You lived Your life to transform us and give us hope to face the day. In Christ Name I ask these things, Amen.